As chefs, policemen, the folk and processors, a mother should dress appropriately if you want to practice their profession with dignity, and tronío saberestar . There is no point leaving the park with knee pencil skirt and heels four inches, unless, of course, you've tired of your teeth and want to stamp them against the back of a bank and thus have an excuse to replace them with more shiny and half-ripe, becoming known as Miami.
So a boat soon befall me thinking area some items vetoed by traumatic or dangerous and other extremely necessary to survive in this ruthless jungle everyday is maternal. These are:
Handbag. Gordo and large, walk or not walk. Preferably strap to let you both both hands free in case the teeth to stamp against the escalator or the swing is your minis. The size of the shoulder strap should be JUSTICE for the sacobolso you have left it to the height of the hip. If you extend, you will seep through the hole in the ass every time you bend over to pick up unusual utensils or prevent the minister ingest toxic substances, dog poop, or both two things at the same time and action.
Shoes. If you digger clogs or boots, if not, will sport a fine. The Velcro going well for miniseres gateantes not be entertained in sucking the laces as if they were legs of crayfish, with the subsequent risk of swallowing the tip plastiquito of you and give you a stroke of sudden fear concentration of excited .
Sox . If you have at home and are good, to be football. The carisísimas leave them for when you go to the opera or dinner with your in-laws. Do not be reckless or defy the rules, trust me. No means to survive an encounter with a child as you are not careful they put the finger at any point and leave you with the butt composite air.
Shirt. Its whiteness is inversely proportional to the amount of Nutella or clay pot bearing your child under the fingernails. A good mother, the truth, is recognized for leading the dirt on his shirt. If it looks clean and unpolluted is that she is a sloppy Malamadre and not for you to uncommon.
Tops narrow . If you recovered postpartum abdominal firmness, fine, if not, opt for empire cut, as rescuers. It is assumed that a mother will always remain Lorza after pregnancy, but not everybody knows, between us and let us help give no clues, ho.
Sweaters . No matter how they are. You will vomit the same.
Jackets . Put your arms in the sleeves, that above all else. Nothing dull and languid let them rest on his shoulders, unless you carry knitting needles incorporated under the armholes, in which case you can take advantage and tejerte leggings.
Skirts . Ideal for the whole park will see the buttock the seventh time you bend over to get something or when you decide to make the hippy and throw to the ground to make castles. No telita involved, excuse tell how far advanced the sand. They also give a lot of play when your miniseres be asked from the floor and pull aupados first thing that caught. When you reach the waistband of the knees, you realize that your panties gum just had his own moment of glory.
Scarves, pashminas and friends . If you drown, well, get one and get a ministry in his arms. As long as it is entertaining and let him tinker with pseudomudo both ends and when you want to realize you'll be so dizzy from lack of oxygen can only faint, blue and stealth, to the astonishment general.
Rings. Dan lot of play in coffee shops, especially when you have finished your friend tell the story of extreme fun. The second white gold ring target your child under the ice cream machine and never recover, you'll never get the gems from the jeweler or for receptions with the ambassador. As I tell you.
Necklaces. belong to the same group of weapons of maternal scarves, pashminas and friends, but they are infinitely more dangerous. The colored beads like plastiquitos almost as much as the laces so be prepared for a second stroke.
Bra . As you catch mostly the, combine or not combine with the rest of your being. As if that mattered.
Tanga. Oh, my, it's time for truth. Replace the rubber band underwear Nadal style has always been little style, but you try to climb the slope of the garage with the bike in one hand, a ball in "melon" in the armpit, dragging the boy with his free hand and meanwhile the thong rozándote the colon. No, man no, not at Guantanamo. So long live the bra and turtleneck if the better.
If you follow these guidelines, your life will be much more comfortable, but made a fachosa go and it appears that the cabinet you have vomited. In your moments of rest will enjoy more freedom of dress, you dress in civilian clothes and enfundarte tight garters, bras and hot pants eagerly, as if they were to stop importing from China.
But I suffer not think you killed your glamorous motherhood. Get used to the idea that you lead a double life that forces you to enter and come out several times a day ... and may even be fun, dangerous and rewarding ... um, oh yeah, eh? ...
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